| Alice: | A Taylor Swift fan. Manages Swift's online store. Feel free to change the character's name and/or gender. |
| Bob: | A Travis Kelce fan. Produces Kelce's podcast. Feel free to change the character's name and/or gender. |
I-1-1
| SETTING: | A restaurant. If possible, romantic music is playing. |
| AT RISE: | BOB is sitting at a table for two. |
Bob?
(Stands) Alice?
Hey. So... blind dates. Weird, right?
Top three most awkward formats for human interaction. Right above speed dating, right below a fantasy football draft with your ex.
Wow, that’s... oddly specific.
Learn from my pain.
I-1-2
Duly noted.
So... I'm guessing from the Spotify links in your profile that you're, uh... a Taylor Swift fan?
“Fan” feels reductive. I prefer “disciple of lyrical vengeance.”
(Laughs) That sounds intense. Should I be worried?
Only if you've ghosted someone recently or have a messy dating history involving a scarf.
I promise I don’t own a single scarf. I’m more of a jersey guy.
Let me guess... Chiefs?
Die-hard. Travis Kelce is my guy.
I-1-3
Of course he is.
What does that mean?
It’s just funny. I go on a blind date and the universe sets me up with the President of the Travis Kelce Fan Club.
I’m not the president. Just the founder, treasurer, and head of digital strategy. (Pause) No, seriously, I am a producer for the Kelce podcast.
(Laughs) Okay, I’ll bite. What’s the appeal of some football players talking on a podcast?
It's his personality and honesty. Plus, he’s electric on the field. Smart routes, crazy hands. And he somehow makes a touchdown dance look like choreography.
So... he’s your Taylor Swift.
(Thinks) Actually? Yeah. Kind of.
I-1-4
Then I respect that.
You know, I didn’t think this would go well.
Why not?
Because I thought you’d think I was just some sports bro who thinks “Midnights” is when ESPN reruns start.
And I thought you’d think I was just some Swiftie who lives in a glittery bubble of heartbreak and merch drops.
To be fair, you are wearing a cardigan.
"A cardigan?" It’s "The Cardigan." From the Folklore line. Limited edition.
Respect.
I-1-5
I'm an e-commerce manager. I manage Taylor's online store. I get a discount. So, I'm not that crazy.
I wasn't trying to imply that.
I only have one cat, but it is a Scottish Fold.
I see. It is confession time.
(Giggles) Well, can I confess something?
Only if I get to make one too.
Deal. I’ll go first. I have to confess that I never saw the purpose of a full contact sport like football.
(Interupts after "full contact sport" in the previous line) Wait. I can't let that just go. Taylor Swift's choreography is full contact. Football is full collision.
(Laughs) I stand corrected.
I-1-6
I am so sorry. Just one of my triggers.
It is not a problem. You see... (Leans in) I used to think football was just guys crashing into each other for three hours. But after Taylor started showing up at games, I started watching... and it's kind of beautiful.
Beautiful?
The strategy. The way the plays unfold like a story. The pauses between plays to digest what just happened and predict what comes next. Even Kelce’s chemistry with Mahomes? That’s basically a duet.
That might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about the Chiefs offense.
Why thank you. Your turn.
Okay... I, well, how do I put this? I... secretly know all the words to "Cruel Summer."
(Smacks table) No!
I-1-7
Yes. Against my will. It just burrowed into my brain. I hum it while watching film for the podcast.
That’s dangerously close to fandom. Next, you'll say you have a friendship bracelet.
Oh no. Please, don’t tell the podcast audience. They still think I only listen to pregame playlists and post-game interviews.
Your secret’s safe with me.
Thank you.
But, I am thinking of giving you a secret friendship bracelet on our next date.
Next date?
So what happens now?
I-1-8
I'm not sure. Usually, I say we should split a dessert, pretend to text my friends, and we never see each other again.
Brutal.
But, we could be two people who like two people who happen to be dating... and maybe that’s enough.
A Swiftie and a Kelce-head walk into a cafe...
Sounds like the start of a love story.
Or a touchdown dance and a bridge breakdown.
Either way, I’d swipe right on that plot twist.
So... you said second date?
Only if I get to pick the playlist.
I-1-9
Only if I get to yell at the TV during the Chiefs game.
Deal.
Who knew Travis and Taylor might be the real MVPs? T and T.
I mean... she is the queen of tight ends.
Okay, that’s it. I’m proposing.