| Alice: | Someone at least 25 years old. May be any gender. Change the name to whatever you prefer. |
| Bob: | Someone at least 25 years old. May be any gender. Change the name to whatever you prefer. |
I-1-1
| SETTING: | A cafe. |
| AT RISE: | BOB is sitting at a table. |
Bob? (Change name to whatever you prefer)
Alice? (Again, change name to whatever you prefer)
It's been a long time.
You, well, you look great.
Still a liar, I see.
Seriously, you look like you're completely over the accident.
I-1-2
Accident?
At summer camp.
Oh, that? It was nothing. Just a hands on demonstration of the laws of motion.
I thought you'd have a permanent limp.
Well, I do have the occasional neck spasm when I get, you know... nevermind..
So, I didn't realize you moved to the city.
Just last week. My GPS still thinks I'm in denial.
Wow. One week here and you run into one of your old band mates.
I-1-3
Band? I hadn't thought about that since braces and acne were personality traits.
I remember you always missing cues because you were staring out the window.
I didn't sit by the window. I was always by the door.
But, the tubas were by the window.
I played clarinet.
Clarinet? Who am I thinking of?
Must be Harry, Mark, or John. The tuba trio. A wall of brass when we marched on the football field.
Must be. It is all a bit of a blur, like a weird dream I regretted telling my therapist.
I-1-4
I could be wrong as well, but I'm usually very good at remembering names.
I often feel like my memory is evaporating like a small puddle on a hot sidewalk in July.
Oh my. I forgot you were always good at writing. I think I still have that poetry book you self published just before graduation.
I didn't self publish.
I'm sorry. I just assumed it was self published.
I mean that I do write. I write copy for the news. You know, the stuff the talking heads read from the teleprompter and try it make it sound like they came up with it.
Educating the public. Respect. Is that what brought you to the city?
Yes. I've been here for six years now. What brought you here?
I-1-5
Well, the company I work for was bought out by another company.
Corporate downsizing. What it means for you and your community. Details at six. I know how it goes. Seen it too many times.
That's not exactly how it worked. We went into a meeting with the new owners and they said that we could all keep our jobs, with raises, but we have to move.
Well, that's great.
There was a catch. We had to move in thirty days.
Well, that is not great. But, at least you got out of Pottersville, right?
Peters Mill.
Oh. Of course you moved. It was silly to think you stayed in Pottersville ever since high school.
I-1-6
I did stay in Peters Mill. I got a house pretty much right across the street from the high school, by the big water tower.
The big orange water tower by the football field?
No. Our water tower was blue and gold, matching our school colors.
Our colors were orange and black. I still have my Pottersville jacket.
Peters Mill. The blue and gold Peters Mill badgers. Hiss hiss badgers.
It was the orange and black Pottersville pirates. The plundering pirates. Seriously, who would be intimidated by a hissing badger?
You've obviously never met a real badger and I am absolutely certain that I remember where we went to high school.
I-1-7
I can go home, get my school jacket and show you. It is orange with black sleeves and a big pirates head right on the front.
Bob, right?
Yes. Alice, right?
Yes.
Your dad worked at the airport?
No. He worked at the packing plant. Your dad was killed in that tragic train accident?
No. He is still in the same house, yelling at the squirrels from his front porch.
I-1-8
Alice Harper.
Alice Hartner.
I am very good at names. It was Harper.
I know my own name.
And you played flute in band?
I played saxophone, loudly and poorly.
And you fell off the roof of the cafeteria at camp and shattered your hip and missed the first two weeks of junior year.
I never broke my hip. I was in the bus accident. Tree won. I got a little whiplash.
No bus ever hit a tree.
I-1-9
I was on it. I remember.
I don't think you are Alice.
And you clearly are not Bob.
This is embarrassing. I think we are complete strangers. I am so sorry to bother you.
Please, it is fine. In fact it is good. I don't know anybody in the city and I haven't had a real conversation since I moved here.
Maybe you should look up your Alice and see if she is in town.
Well, I don't know where she lives and we weren't really ever friends. She once called me Jessie for an entire semester.
That is kind of cute in a lawsuit kind of way.
I-1-10
Are you suggesting that I cyberstalk her just to say, "Hey! I met someone with the same name as you."
Isn't that what social media is for? Cyberstalk all your old classmates and coworkers?
Still, it would just be weird.
As weird as striking up a conversation with a complete stranger who just happens to have the same name as someone you barely talked to back in high school?
A little weirder, I think.
Well, I can say that you, Bob, are much better Bob than the Bob I knew.
And you, Alice, are a very nice Alice as well. I am happy to have had the chance to get to know you just a bit.
You're right... I was just thinking... This place is my Tuesday lunch spot. On Wednesdays, I go to the sub shop over on Fourth Street. Do you know where that is?
I-1-11
Yes. I've seen it. Angry Devo or something?
Groucho's Deli. I thought you were good with names.
I was just thinking of the picture on the sign of the angry looking guy with the wierd red hat.
(Standing) Look. I have to get back to work quickly, but I wouldn't mind bumping into you again if you just happen to be there.
Thank you. It's a date.
No. It isn't. I don't date strangers.
Neither do I... stranger. See you tomorrow.