| Alex: | A police investigator. May be any gender. |
| Bobby: | A possible witness to a crime. May be any gender. |
I-1-1
| SETTING: | A nondescript police interview room. |
| AT RISE: | ALEX and BOBBY are seated across from one another. |
Interview begins at fourteen twenty-six.
Two.
Yes. Fourteen is two.
Just in case anyone got confused. You should tell them it is two.
We just did.
Some people are, you know...
Sure. Can you state your name for the recording please?
I-1-2
Bobby Pinkerton. That's spelled with a B and then a P.
Yes. And I'm told you witnessed the incident at (reading notes) eight forty-two, Shady Lane, on August second. Is that correct?
Not on purpose.
Purpose or not, can you tell me what you saw.
It was an eventful night.
Then, just start at the beginning and talk me through it.
Well, I heard something outside.
What did it sound like?
Have you ever heard two flamingos get into a scrap?
I-1-3
I can't say that I have.
Well, it sounded exactly like that and I wanted to go and get a look.
And what did you see?
I had to get my shoes first.
You got your shoes and you went outside.
No. When I ask for my shoes, my dog brings them to me.
Your dog brought your shoes and you went outside.
That's just it. He only brought me one shoe.
What does this have to do with what you saw.
I-1-4
Well, I needed both shoes to go outside, but one of them had a lizard in it.
You saw a lizeard in your shoe and...
No. I didn't see it. It was down in there.
If you didn't see it, how did you know it was in there.
Because my dog is flat out scared of lizards, snakes, frogs, all of that stuff. That's why he wouldn't bring me the shoe, see?
You didn't see it, but you knew it was a lizard.
Certainly.
And it wasn't a snake.
If it was a snake, I would have tried to charm him out with a flute, wouldn't I?
I-1-5
I guess.
No. I had a guitar. You only use a guitar to charm a lizard.
Really?
It's a bit obvious, isn't it?
And you have a lizard-charming guitar?
That's just the thing. I don't have a guitar.
You just said that you had one.
When my dog was scared, I thought I should get some lizard repellent spray from the junk closet.
What is lizard repellent spray?
I-1-6
It repels lizards. So, I'm looking for it, just digging deeper and deeper into the closet and I come across a guitar.
A guitar you don't have.
Oh, about, say, eight years ago, I had the idea to learn to play guitar, so I bought one.
So, you do have a guitar.
But, I didn't play it, so I shoved it in the closet and clean forgot I had it. You know how it is.
Yes. Can we get back to the incident.
Absolutely. So, I have my guitar and I'm strumming it, trying to charm the lizard out of my shoe.
So you said.
I-1-7
I see his little head pop out a bit. My dog ran off howling like a thunderstorm in November.
So, it was a lizard.
Of course. And he was charmed a bit, but you have to find the right chord, which is a bit hard if you don't know how to play said guitar.
Of course.
I experimented. I strummed. (singing) Laaa. Nope. I strumed (singing) Laaa. Nope. Again. (singing) Laaa. And pow!
You heard a gunshot?
No. The darn lizard leapt straight out of my shoe and into that hole in the front of the guitar. Nearly sent me wailing out back with the dog.
So, you can get your shoe.
I-1-8
I thought about it.
Really, we have to get to the incident.
Well, now that I had my old guitar in hand and I was able to charm a lizard with it, I felt that I wanted to learn to play again.
The incident please.
What do you think a teacher would think if I asked for guitar lessons and showed up with a lizard in my guitar?
I don't know.
That's when I decided that I had to get the lizard out of the guitar.
You can charm him with another guitar.
I-1-9
Where am I going to get another guitar from? I can't go outside and ask the neighbors with just one shoe and it is bad enough that those darn flamingos have been having a right old fit the whole time.
I'm sorry. That was just a joke.
I just started banging on the guitar. Spooked the lizard and he jumped right out and back into my shoe.
So, what did you do then?
I had enough of it, so I just grabbed that shoe, took it outside, and chucked it in the garbage can.
Without shoes on your feet.
Of course. I couldn't wear a shoe with a lizard in it. I got my flip-flops from the bedroom and put those on.
And, now, you are outside. Can you tell me what you saw?
I-1-10
It is hard to be exact. It was late and dark and it was drizzling a bit. Very cloudy.
It didn't rain at all on August second.
Yes it did. It rained all day and all night. I planned to spend the Saturday at the park, but the rain ruined my plans.
August second was Friday. It didn't rain. August third was Saturday. It rained most of the day and into the night.
Are you sure about that?
Yes. I am very sure. Did you see anything on Friday?
Not really.
I think we can conclude this interview.
Unless you are interested in old Mr. Jenkins getting shot.
I-1-11
Did you witness the shooting.
Freddy, you know Freddy, right? Guy who runs the car wash down by the pizza place.
Yes. We know Freddy.
So, I am painting my front door and I hear a car scream to a halt behind me. I turn around I see Freddy shoot Mr. Jenkins right as he is coming out of his house. Then, Freddy races off.
Why didn't you report this?
I tried. The next night, there was an awful rucus outside. Blue and red lights everywhere. People talking in person and on radio. So much noise, like, you know, have you ever heard two flamingos going at it?
Yes. I know what you mean.
I-1-12
Well, I eventually went out and threw my shoe in the garbage can and one of the ladies came up and asked if I had seen anything.
Did you tell her about the shooting?
She didn't seem to care. I barely got to explaining where I found my guitar before she handed me her card and walked away. So, I called the number on said card and here I am.
Thank you very much. You've been helpful. I have your statement and we will probably have more questions if you will be available.
Certainly. Any time, except Tuesday evening. I'm starting guitar lessons on Tuesday evening.