| Receptionist: | A receptionist at a hotel. May be any gender. |
| Guest: | A guest checking into the hotel. May be any gender. |
I-1-1
| SETTING: | A hotel lobby, preferrably with a counter. |
| AT RISE: | RECEPTIONIST is at the counter. |
Welcome to our resort. How may I help you?
I have a reservation, PI314159.
(Types and responds) Yes. One room for twelve nights. That is a long stay.
Yes. I am consulting for two weeks at a local company.
Wonderful. I already have everything I need here in the computer. Do you want to keep your charges on the card used to make the reservation?
Yes. That will be fine.
I-1-2
Then, you are in room 42, on the fourth floor. This is your key. (Hands over a card key) Do you have any requests before you head up?
As a matter of fact, I have one that may be a bit odd.
Whatever it is, we will do our best to accommodate you.
You know those miniature bottles of shampoo and conditioner that they leave in the shower?
Of course. We have plenty. Nobody will notice if you take a few.
No. You see, I have my own value-sized bottle of Dove Fortifying Fresh and Clean, shampoo and conditioner in one, with caffeine.
Shampoo and conditioner all mixed up together?
Yes. I helps me wash my hair and get going, faster.
I-1-3
With caffeine?
Yes. It really helps me get going faster.
That is very interesting. I’ll have to look into that.
The point is that I have my own value-sized bottle of Dove. So, I don’t need those miniature bottles.
I agree. Your shampoo and conditioner, with caffeine, sounds much better than the generic miniature bottles we have with segregated shampoo in one bottle and conditioner in another bottle.
So, if you’d ensure that the maid doesn’t deliver any while I’m here, I would greatly appreciate it.
That is not a problem. The maid only delivers one miniature shampoo and one miniature conditioner each day.
But, I’d prefer to have none delivered.
I-1-4
They are free.
I know. But, I don’t want them.
Most people just stick them in a suitcase and take them home. I’m not sure why. I assume they have their own shampoo and conditioner at home. Perhaps it is like a souvenir to remember their stay with us every time they bathe, do you think?
I don’t. I just know that I have my own value-sized bottle of Dove.
Then you are good, right?
I don’t know. Will the maid keep delivering miniature shampoos and conditioners the entire two weeks that I’m here?
Of course. We have great staff. They ensure that you get one new miniature bottle of shampoo and one new miniature bottle of conditioner every day.
I-1-5
I don’t want them. Can you tell her to stop delivering them?
She has to deliver them. I doubt any other guests planned ahead and brought their own shampoo and conditioner, with caffeine, as you did.
I don’t mean stop delivering them to everyone. I just don’t want them delivered to my room.
Just to be clear, you do NOT want the staff to deliver any extra shampoo or conditioner to your room. Is that correct?
Correct.
That is not a problem. If you do not request extra shampoo or conditioner, only one miniature bottle of each will be delivered each day.
I don’t want one of each every day. I want zero of each every day.
I-1-6
I don’t think you can receive zero of something.
Yes, you can. That means that you receive nothing. Receiving nothing means you’ve received zero of something.
I’ve never thought of it that way. I could say that you’ve given me zero chocolate hedgehogs as a tip for being helpful.
Of course. In fact, if you can ensure that I don’t have any miniature bottles of shampoo and conditioner cluttering up my shower, I will double that tip.
I can’t do that. I’m not in charge of maid service. I will leave a note for Dot.
Can Dot ensure that I don’t have any shampoo or conditioner cluttering up my shower.
Absolutely. I am making the note now: (writing) Dot. Ensure that all shampoo and conditioner are removed from room 42 each day.
I-1-7
Except my value-sized bottle of Dove.
What?
I don’t want her removing my value-sized bottle of Dove.
Why would you think we give out value-sized bottles of Dove? We only give out miniature bottles of generic shampoo and conditioner.
I mean that I don’t want her to take away the value sized bottle of Dove that I brought with me.
Of course, “with caffeine.” I remember. Adding to the note: (writing) Do not remove the caffeinated dove from the shower.”
That should be “value size bottle of Dove.”
If you like: (writing) “Don’t remove the value size bottle of Dove either.”
I-1-8
So, Dot will make sure that I don’t have a bunch of miniature bottles of shampoo and conditioner cluttering up the shower, right?
Absolutely, every day, Monday through Friday.
What about Saturday and Sunday?
Dot doesn’t work on Saturday and Sunday. Five days a week is enough, don’t you think?
Of course it is, but I don’t want the bottles delivered on Saturday and Sunday.
What about Monday through Friday.
(Beginning to yell) I don’t want the bottles delivered any day. I don’t care what day it is: Monday, Tuesday, Sunday, Frog-day, Heffalump-day. Whatever day it is, I don’t want a single miniature bottle of shampoo or miniature bottle of conditioner delivered to my room.
I-1-9
There’s no need for that attitude. Dot will make sure that none are delivered during the week. Monique is the weekend manager. I will leave her a note as well.
I’m sorry for my temper. Thank you.
(Writing) Monique: Talk to Dot about the person in Room 42.
Why can’t you just send her the same note that you send to Dot?
I only have to send one note this way.
You have one note to Dot and one note telling Monique to talk to Dot. That’s two notes.
I’m the receptionist. I know what I’m doing.
I don’t care. As long as I don’t see a single miniature bottle of shampoo or conditioner while I’m here, I’ll be just fine.
I-1-10
We'll do our best to ensure that you don’t see any shampoo or conditioner at all unless it is mixed together and packed with caffeine.
Wonderful.
Please, enjoy your stay while you work at… Did you mention where you are consulting?
It is someplace I’ve never been to before. (Gets note from pocket) Hermes Amenities.
What a coincidence. That is who supplies our miniature bottles of shampoo and conditioner. You should be able to pick up plenty while you’re there.