| Sales Clerk: | A sales clerk at a sports shop. May be any gender. |
| Customer: | A customer at the sport shop. May be any gender. |
I-1-1
| SETTING: | A sports shop. |
| AT RISE: | CUSTOMER is looking around. |
May I help you?
I don't know.
We have all the best sports equipment here. I'm sure there is something I can help you with.
I mean, I don't know what I want to do.
Are you interested in team sports, exercise equipment, outdoor adventuring...
(Interrupting) That's just it. I have no idea what I want to do. I know I want to do something.
I-1-2
Are you thinking something indoors or outdoors?
Think of it as a midlife crisis. I know I need to do something, but I don't know what it should be.
I think I understand. You want to make a change in your life.
Yes.
You are stuck in a rut.
Exactly. Get up. Work. Eat. Watch TV. Sleep. Repeat.
You want something to look forward to.
Yes. That's right. Something more than what I'm doing.
You feel your life slipping away, day by day, with nothing to show for it.
I-1-3
I'm not depressed. I'm just looking to do something different.
Are you looking to join a group?
I tried that once.
It didn't work out?
I tried yoga.
We have a good yoga section.
No thank you. One time was enough for me. Sitting in a room with a bunch of strangers. No. Not sitting. Trying to balance with my hands and feet on the floor, my rear end hoisted as high as possible and, well, let's just say you should never have a second helping of three-bean chili the day before trying to do yoga.
It was bad.
I-1-4
The guy behind me yelled, "Thar she blows!"
So, no yoga. How about a team sport.
What are the options?
Are you interested in trying softball? There is a league for beginners.
I doubt I could ever hit the ball. I can't even hit a fly with a fly swatter.
Are you interested in flag football? Most of the players never touch the ball.
I'm not sure I want to be involved in any kind of tackling.
There's no tackling in flag football. You just grab a flag and pull it.
I-1-5
But, I'll think about the tackling the whole time.
How about soccer. Just kicking a ball back and forth.
I kicked a chair once.
So, you can kick.
I broke three toes.
So, you are looking for something to do that isn't in a group, doesn't involve hitting or kicking, and doesn't make you think about tackling.
Exactly. What do you have?
On the water you can...
I can't swim.
I-1-6
With a life preserver, you could float and...
No water.
You want to do something by yourself that doesn't involve using your arms or legs and keeps clear of water.
It is like you're reading my mind.
Can you fall?
I don't see why not. I fell over twice just putting on my socks this morning.
You know, you could sit... Never mind. Are you willing to go up in an airplane?
As long as I don't have to fly the plane, I'm happy.
How about skydiving?
I-1-7
I can't dive.
They only call it skydiving because skyfalling makes some people scared.
That sounds interesting. What do I need?
All you need is a parachute. We have a good one here.
It looks like a backpack.
Yes. It is a backpack with a parachute. You pull the cord here and the parachute comes out. You fall, very slowly, down to the ground.
What is the other cord for?
That's the reserve. If for any reason the main parachute doesn't come out, you pull the reserve cord and the backup parachute comes out.
I-1-8
Is that a third cord?
That is the reserve reserve. If the first two don't work, you pull the third one. That is the reserve parachute to the reserve parachute.
That sounds like a lot of safety.
Yes. It is very safe. Just go up in a plane, fall out, pull a cord, and float to the ground.
Well, it does sound like something very different from what I've been doing.
So, should I ring this up and get you scheduled with a skydiving service?
I think this is it. Thank you very much for your help.
Any time. We're all happy to help here.
I-1-9
Oh, I do have one more question.
What's that?
What if the reserve reserve parachute doesn't work?
No problem. If all three parachutes fail, just bring it back for a full refund.