| Shy: | One of two friends, the shyer of the two. May be any gender. |
| Fun: | One of two freinds, the funner of the two. May be any gender. |
I-1-1
| SETTING: | A beach. |
| AT RISE: | SHY and FUN enter. |
[AD-LIB: Complain about the beach. Pick one sensory detail (smell, heat, crowd, sand, noise) and riff for 2-3 lines. Be specific and a little dramatic.]
[YES-AND: Accept whatever SHY just complained about, agree with a twist. REDIRECT: Steer the conversation to how far they walked/where they parked the car.]
I didn't want to be in the sun for a whole three street walk.
I-1-2
But, we drove back and forth for almost an hour waiting for a parking spot. Don't forget where we parked or it will be a good thirty minute walk back down the beach.
Fine. Look, I shouldn't be here. This is a mistake. This is a sand-filled mistake.
Come on. This is just a beach. It's fun.
It's a nightmare and...
(Interrupting) Stop it. Take a deep breath and enjoy the fresh sea air.
(Breathing and then making a grimmace.) What's that smell?
(Laying out a beach towel) What smell?
It smells like coconut and fish and (sniffs) is that insect repellent?
I-1-3
It's the beach.
What beach? All I see is a vast sea of half-naked people that, honestly, shouldn't be so comfortable with being half-naked.
(Sitting on towel) You're a prude. All bodies are beautiful.
Seriously?
And don't stare.
(Clearly staring) I'm not staring.
[AD-LIB: Invent reason's for the stranger's outfit, speculating an absurd backstory for 2-3 lines.]
[YES-AND: Accept FUN's critique, react to it. REDIRECT: Move the conversation to avoidance of staring and a desire to leave.]
I-1-4
No. We're not going home. This is a good spot. We just sit and enjoy ourselves.
Do you even know where that sand's been?
It's just sand.
[AD-LIB: Give a list of increasingly absurd reasons why the beach is dangerous. Work in FUN's backstory for the stranger.]
[YES-AND: Accept SHY's warnings about dangers. REDIRECT: Invent a threatening reason (losing the kyes, calling the police, a spy back at the house) why SHY needs to just sit.]
That's better.
I hope you plan to pay for my antibiotics after this.
Just lean your head back and soak in the sun's rays.
I-1-5
Did you know that UVA rays from the sun cause damage to the surface of the skin, increasing wrinkles and reducing elasticity?
No talk of UVA rays.
Did you know that UVB rays from the sun are the leading cause of skin cancer?
No talk of UVB rays.
Did you...
[AD-LIB: Interrupt SHY by mocking SHY's original complaint from the beginning.]
[YES-AND: Mock FUN in return, explaining how ignoring that complaint will lead to an absurd result. REDIRCT: Return the converation to ultraviolet rays.]
(Interrupting) No UVC rays. No UVD rays. No UV-anything rays.
I-1-6
You're the one who wanted me to soak them in, permanently damaging my skin and likely triggering a cancerous little dot that initially looks like a normal freckle, but then in a few years it turns into a massive hideous bump that has to be removed leaving a large indention where I used to have skin, but, just because someone decided we were going to have a beach day...
(Interrupting) Fine. If you simply can't enjoy the beautiful world around you, maybe we should begin rethinking the time you spend around me.
[AD-LIB: Make up a memory why you want to be with SHY.]
[YES-AND: Provide your own perspective on the memory. REDIRECT: Redirect the conversation to he beauty of nature at the beach.]
[YES-AND: Scoff at the "beauty" of nature and make up a ridiculous event you just saw happening, such as a seagull trying to steal Cheetos from a toddler. REDIRECT: Redirect the conversation to the chaos of nature at the beach.]
[YES-AND: Agree to the beauty in the chaos of nature.]
I-1-7
It is kind of... big.
It’s the ocean. It’s literally the biggest.
No, I mean it’s... vast. Deep. Like it doesn’t care if I worry about it or not.
[AD-LIB: Admire SHY's philosphy, but be shocked. Explain the horror of seeing your ex.]
[YES-AND: Verify who FUN is referring to by describing the ex in detail. The ex should be involved in the ridiculous "beaty of nature" event references previously. REDIRECT: Accuse FUN of stalking, suggesting dragging SHY to the beach was just an excuse.]
[YES-AND: Defend, listing SHY's ridiculous complaints about the beach and adding this one. REDIRECT: Turn the conversation to lack of control. FUN can't control nature or where the ex might turn up. Demand that they leave the beach.]
[YES-AND: Refuse to leave by explaining that it is now obvious that all previous complaints were about control and not being in control could be good.]
I-1-8
Oh, so you like the beach now?
I didn’t say I liked it.
But you didn’t say, specifically, that you hated it.
You never said, specifically, that you hated your ex.
Ugh. Yes. I hate my ex. (Standing) Now, can we just go.
I think... I want to stay a little longer.
What?
You go. I’ll just sit here. Absorb my daily recommended dose of melancholy.
You’re serious?
I-1-9
I’m sure the [AD-LIB: Insert something from the previous conversation] will keep me company.
But I thought you said [AD-LIB: Insert one of SHY's complaints].
Yes.
You know what? Fine. You stay. I’m going home. I need a shower and an air-conditioned room and a reminder that my friends aren't completely unraveling at the seams.
Take my keys. I can walk back along the beach.
Fine.
(Softly) It’s kind of beautiful. In a terrifying, wet, endless sort of way.