The following are some Frequently Asked Questions (and the answers) that I receive. If your question isn't here, it is probably because...
- ...it is not a question anyone else would ask.
- ...it is not a question I would answer.
- ...it has nothing to do with me.
- Who are you and why do I care?
- I'm nobody and you shouldn't care. You have enough to care about in your own personal life, don't you?
- What does Kainaw mean? How do you pronounce it?
- I get a lot of questions about Kainaw. It is pronounced "Cane" (as in 'walking cane') "Aw" (as in 'Awww, you stubbed your widdle toe'). The name comes from a tribe of the Blackfoot Indians. There are three primary Blackfoot tribes: Siksiki, Piegan, and Kainah. I purposely spelled 'Kainah' as 'Kainaw' to ensure that the name would be unique. I chose the name for an internet username back around 1994. I had been using DJet as a username for BBS's since I first had a phone modem. I had grown tired of it and opted for a new name when I first started using newsgroups and playing MUDs. The choice was based on the my heritage. My biological father (not my true father) is part Blackfoot Indian. I have only talked to him once, so I have no idea what tribe he is from. I looked at a list of tribe names and chose Kainah. It sounds much better to me than Siksiki or Piegan and it means "Men of Blood". My little username became more of an identifying nickname when I released Kainaw's Amiga Internet Guide. Suddenly, more people knew me as Kainaw than Shaun. So, I now write Christopher Shaun Kainaw Wagner.
- Is it Chris or Shaun?
- I spent the first half of my life being known as Shaun. There was a brief time in High School when Larry thought my name would be more interesting if it were Waun Shagner instead of Shaun Wagner. Very few continued calling me Waun for more than a couple months. When I went to college, the professors had very little concern for any students - or their names. They called me Chris. Other students copied that and called me Chris (well, a Russian girl called me Kwees). Because I got a few jobs through the college, people at those jobs also called me Chris. Let me make this clear. I do not like the name Chris. I don't know of a single Christopher or Christine that likes the name Chris. One Christopher that I know is often called Tofu because every time someone called him Chris, he would repeat 'Topher'. Someone thought he was saying 'Tofu' and started calling him that. So, if you know a person that everyone calls Chris, you should try using their full name. I'm sure they will like you for it. Now, college is far behind me and everyone is calling me Shaun again.
- What is "Kainaw's Amiga Internet Guide"?
- When the Internet was young and AOL was just starting to pollute it, I had knee surgery and spent a week in bed with nothing to do but play with my Amiga. I noticed that many people had trouble getting their Amiga to use the internet properly. So, I wrote a guide to installing and using all the various Amiga internet programs available. It was known as "Kainaw's Amiga Internet Guide". As it grew, many called it KAIG as in "KAIG says that the best email program is...". I eventually had to sell the Amiga and buy a Windows machine because of work. I left the guide to the general Amiga community and it became "The Amiga Internet Guide", but most people still called it KAIG. To this day, it still turns up many hits on Google when you search for Kainaw.
- Why do you have a webcam? Do you get naked on your webcam?
- I have a webcam because I have a webcam. That's the only reason. I've had it since before they were popular. I see no reason to get rid of it. And, no, I don't get naked on the webcam. A roommate did once. She was living in an asylum in Arizona last I heard.
- I think your Heretic writings are stupid. You're an idiot.
- I'm sorry, but that isn't much of a question. However, I will answer it. The writings I put in the Heretic section are intended to be a few steps (if not a few leaps) outside of the accepted norm. I could preface everything in them with "I know this is probably all false...", but that would make for a very boring read. By stating half-baked ideas as facts, it becomes a lot more interesting. Toss in a few misrepresented facts, a couple half-truths, and a dozen or so bad analogies and you have something that people can really sink their teeth into. Maybe I should start writing for Michael Moore.
- What's your problem with (insert any religion here)? Are you a (insert vulgar name here) or something?
- I make every effort to offend all religions equally. I was raised in a strong Christian (mostly Southern Baptist) environment. It is easier to poke at the weaknesses of that which you know best. However, I've spent many years studying world religions and I'm fairly well trained at attacking all of them - even the nice little Buddhists in the orange robes. I am not an atheist in any way. I have very strong beliefs about God, the human soul, and the distinction between good and evil. I simply find that religion plays no part in any of it. Religion, in my view, it merely a support group for those who lack support and an identity for those who lack identity. That is why those with a strong sense of identity and good support don't turn to religion except to take advantage of the masses.
- What's your problem with (insert any politicial issue here)? Are you a (insert vulgar name here) or something?
- Politics is nothing more than deciding who you want to get screwed by. Unless you are a politician, there is no room in politics for you. When it comes down to it, the only thing that any politician has done that has had truly changed my life is the stupid federal law requiring my toilet to be so small that it doesn't flush anymore. I don't truly have a problem with politicians or government. I have a problem with those who take politics and government seriously. Politics, in my view, is merely a support group for those who lack support and an identity for those who lack identity. That is why those with a strong sense of identity and good support don't turn to politics except to take advantage of the masses.
- Why do you always say everyone else is stupid?
- There is a finite limit to human intelligence. Human stupidity is infinite. The sooner you accept that most people have no intelligence at all, the sooner you will see them as a simple program of action-response sequences. Learn the sequences and you can easily control the person. I know it is sad to realize that humans have less going on in their head than a hedgehog, but there are a handful that you may meet in your life that make living worthwhile.
- What is the meaning to the question of life, the universe, and everything?
- This is an answer that no human can know. Therefore, it must not be 42.